Sustaining relationships are different with different people in different situations. Any relationship is essentially a person to person relationship. Even if we share ourselves with a larger group it is still a simultaneous sharing of ourselves with each individual person in the group. To share with one other person is normally a safer and more intimate environment for trust than a sharing with more than one other. However, a group situation can offer a much richer environment for relationship as each person in the group has their own unique contributions to give. In addition to getting a broader spectrum of insight into any matter it is also possible to gain confidence to risk sharing yourself by exposing yourself to the sharing between others.

Let us look at some considerations which relate to sustaining relationships whether they be in a person to person or group situation.

A sustaining relationship should have a regular cycle and an open-ended commitment. A regular meeting provides a secure opportunity to maintain the relationship. Each meeting does not have to be negotiated. It is a committed part of your routine. By being open-ended it provides the opportunity for sustained growth in the relationship.

The process of sharing of our Inner Self with another is one of learning to share our love. If the relationship has a predestined point of termination, i.e. a term relationship, it has less attraction for us as the place to commit to this process. We will be somewhere along the path and have to start again elsewhere. It is not sustaining.

It is highly desirable that there should be a vision to the relationship. A vision is a conscious purpose which is understood by the participants. The vision needs to be of sufficient definition for the participants to act or to plan how to act.

The vision should be flexible and not sacred. It may be to take a walk each Sunday afternoon with someone. All that is necessary for there to be a vision is to have a regular meeting time. It is not required to have all the details planned ahead. A direction for the walk can be agreed on each time you meet and at any point on the walk each person can know the direction. If we set too firma vision it can become a rigid goal which can then control the relationship.

In many cases the vision may only be the surface cover for a much broader exchange but it is the basis for coming together. The larger the number of people involved, the more difficult and the more important it is to get a clear vision and a commitment to growth and honesty. If the relationships within a larger group are to be meaningful then these aspects should not be surrendered to satisfy some near term goal.

It is also desirable for sustaining relationships to involve doing something requiring action and not just talk, if possible, a purpose beyond the self interest of the participants. If the relationship involves doing something there will be a product of that action, some fruit. The fruit will reflect the quality of the relationship but should not control it. It should be the journey that matters, not the goal. In a healthy sustaining relationship the participants feel equal partners in their activity. Each must be open to grow from the relationship.

Our technological society has provided alternates to many opportunities for sustaining relationships. What was once a chance for a cooperative effort, a sustaining relationship, can now be done more efficiently by the corporation or machines. We have grown used to things being done for us rather than doing them together. There are many opportunities if we will take them.

One thing which concerns us all is the health of our own neighborhood and the wider environment, for both ourselves and our children. We have a common reference point with all mankind in the health of the planet Earth.

If each of us could find the way to relate to our own use of it in an organic way, the earth would provide a universal sustaining relationship for us all.

In many cases the vision may only be the surface cover for a much broader exchange but it is the basis for coming together. The larger the number of people involved, the more difficult and the more important it is to get a clear vision and a commitment to growth and honesty. If the relationships within a larger group are to be meaningful then these aspects should not be surrendered to satisfy some near term goal.

It is also desirable for sustaining relationships to involve doing something requiring action and not just talk, if possible, a purpose beyond the self interest of the participants. If the relationship involves doing something there will be a product of that action, some fruit. The fruit will reflect the quality of the relationship but should not control it. It should be the journey that matters, not the goal. In a healthy sustaining relationship the participants feel equal partners in their activity. Each must be open to grow from the relationship.

Our technological society has provided alternates to many opportunities for sustaining relationships. What was once a chance for a cooperative effort, a sustaining relationship, can now be done more efficiently by the corporation or machines. We have grown used to things being done for us rather than doing them together. There are many opportunities if we will take them.

One thing which concerns us all is the health of our own neighborhood and the wider environment, for both ourselves and our children. We have a common reference point with all mankind in the health of the planet Earth.

If each of us could find the way to relate to our own use of it in an organic way, the earth would provide a universal sustaining relationship for us all.